lessons from "Amazing Grace"

A student and friend of mine asks me occasionally, “Are you boring?” I think he means, “Are you bored?” But since he hasn’t changed his question even though I’ve often corrected him, I’m starting to wonder!

This past week however I’ve been more than bored. There comes a time during a stay in a new country, when the things you considered “quirky”, or “interesting” start to become downright annoying. Like when you use your best Slovak to ask for “olivy zelene” (green olives) from the deli clerk, and she looks at you like you’re a 3 year old. Can’t she just smile and look helpful! I am trying you know!

Perhaps this partly explains my mood a few days ago when I returned home in the afternoon after a disappointment in worship practice. “That’s it! I’ve had enough!” was what I was thinking.

Let me tell you about our worship team. (I don’t mean any disrespect. The whole point is about how we all have our hang-ups.) The leader, B., is a lovely young lady, and a graduating classical pianist with some traditional church background. She plays the music from the the sheet music in front of her – and very beautifully. But she has no interest in or knowledge of contemporary praise and worship music. Her focus is on the music itself, not the lyrics, and so playing simple chords doesn't excite her. I am one of 2 or 3 people who sing; definitely the least talented, but able to introduce songs and offer some worship observations to encourage the congregation of 20 or so, most of whom are pretty traditional. To me, words and mood are the important part of worship music. There is however, a desire on the part of the pastor, to introduce some contemporary music into the service - which leads to a bit of tension.

So, B.(who has been busy lately) had asked me to choose the music for this Sunday, and I did, choosing among others, Chris Tomlin’s new version of Amazing Grace. It’s a slow contemplative rendition with a moving chorus:

"My sins are gone. I’ve been set free
My God, my Savior, has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace."

At practice we were having a little trouble keeping to the new melody. The tendency was to slip into the version we've sung for the last 100 years or so. “Why don't we just sing it the old way?” asked the leader. I tried to explain how thatwould spoil the worship mood of the song and the chance to introduce a contemporary song to the congregation with lyrics that they know and which are meaningful to them”. But she didn't seem too happy, and thereafter (somewhat reluctantly it seemed to me), pounded out the notes from the sheet music, with little feeling for the beauty of the song. I felt the same response to some of the other choices I'd made. It seemed I’d won the battle, but not the war. And I was discouraged and just wanted to quit. Who needs this? Unfortunaely,this is my usual response to conflict of this kind.

About 3 a.m. that night I woke up. It seemed that the Holy Spirit felt this was a teachable moment. I prayed and meditated , and this is what I believed God was saying to me: “Amazing Grace”, He seemed to say , is about a gift. It's about salvation and something more - the resulting freedom (as the song says), we now have. Freedom is about being able to choose. When I face conflict, trials, life’s tests, and new ideas, I can choose to trust, to forgive, to love, to be open to new spiritual learning, to take reasonable risks and to assume responsibility. When I chose these, I embrace the freedom purchased for me. It's a step in abandoning myself to God. On the other hand, if I allow sin, tradition, fear, safety or habitual patterns of thinking to dictate my choices, I choose bondage. This holds me back from the abandoned life. It's a refusal to let God lead, and to step into His world of "what can be”.

In the past, my response to the issue with the music and the leader would be to distance myself from the problem and the person involved. But this time God was telling me that I had the freedom to choose to rid myself of that response. So I did, choosing to love, be forgiving, and keep my commitment to this church and this ministry. Thanks God! Thanks Chris Tomlin!

Now, tell me, what am I going to do about the deli clerk?